Monday, December 12, 2011

Landstuhl Regional Medical Center


We arrived in the hospital and weren’t allowed to see Jalfred until the surgeons saw us. It seemed like we waited half an hour to see them in a small waiting room. I had no concept of the time of day or where we were. We were waiting for the latest update. Two surgeons/doctors came in. I really don't remember what they said. They talked for a while but all I remember was them saying that the prognosis is poor, they went to heroic efforts to save him, brain death was imminent, he only had 10% of his brain at that point. Then they asked us if we wanted to see his CT scan. Of course we said yes. They took us to a hallway and showed us on this computer. They were showing us all of the dead brain matter and the hemorrhaging. They told us that he had two surgeries to stop the bleeding and decrease the pressure in his skull. I asked him if the bullet wounded him by blunt force, or if it was penetrating. They told me no, it was perforating. They showed me that the bullet entered and exited his head. 

As we were looking at the CT scan, I heard Jalfred's mother say "Is that him?" I looked to my left and I saw Jalfred...

Jalfred was so unrecognizable at this point. I couldn't believe that was him. I ran to him. I hugged him and I kissed him and I cried. He was on a ventilator. Everything I have ever learned in nursing, my Jalfred was attached to. My strong, healthy baby, was lying so helplessly. His face was so swollen, his head was so big. He had a dressing around his head, a drain coming out of the dressing. He had an OG tube, suctioning, a foley, everything you can think of. He was on complete life support.

I can't remember everything that went on. I just remember his mom and I hold him. One on each side. We weren't leaving his side. I was praying, begging God to heal him. To perform a miracle...for him to wake up.



1 comment:

  1. I am sorry for your loss. You are living every military spouses worst fear, and I believe I speak for all of them when I say "we are proud of you." I only wish strength and courage for you to keep your head up and continue to see the light that every new day brings.

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